31 weeks pregnant and sick of rude advice...

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Fair warning, this is a long issue and kind of a rant... I am 31 weeks pregnant with my first baby and very excited for my little guy to arrive. We were told that due to me having PCOS, becoming pregnant was probably going to be a major challenge. When we got pregnant after only three months DH and I were very excited. We shared first with only immediate family and our best friends. When I finally did announce to the rest of the world co-workers etc, the advice started rolling in. What has me so pissed off is all the NEGATIVE advice I am getting.

The first problem, I have determined that I will not beat myself up if I cannot breast feed. I want to, but I know some women have problems, my mom was unable due to low milk production and I turned out okay. I am worried I may have the same issues and have decided not to stress about it until it happens. So I have received a lot of rude feedback on the decision to use formula if I absolutely have to. People have been less than kind. My favorite comment: "Why don't you just feed your baby nuclear waste?" Thanks, so very much.

The second is my birthing method. A group of co-workers and I are all due around the same time. Most of us are pregnant for the first time and were discussing pain relief, birthing plans etc. One of the girls is going with a Douala at home, she has had a picture perfect pregnancy and feels secure in her choice. One has determined that she will absolutely get an epidural. Another wants to try the Bradley Method in the hospital, but has also determined that she is very open to an epidural (confusing, I know.) I want to have a natural birthing process, still in the hospital with my OB/GYN and her NP (I don't have or really desire a Douala.) But I do not want an epidural or any pain medications. Let me be clear, I have nothing against anyone who has had or wants an epidural, and I don't say negative things to the women who want one. I would not want anyone who wants one to feel attacked, it is your body and your choice whatever is best for you and baby. Yet somehow instead I feel like I am constantly attacked for NOT wanting one. 

One of the women who has had kids told me (and "Douala girl" as she calls her which is super bitchy if you ask me.) that I was dreaming and I would be screaming and begging for an epidural within moments of the first contraction. To say the least, I was offended. She's been the crudest person, but so many other people have told me that YOU HAVE TO HAVE ONE. Everyone makes it sound like it is going to be the worst experience of my life. Even my freaking MIL (she's not my biggest fan) tells me that there is no way I'll get through it without something (insert b****y smirk here.) We had a friend who miscarried at 22 weeks and says that she obviously couldn't have one to birth her baby, but would never go through a full-term labor without one. (In her case I would want to be sedated for the emotional pain, not the physical, but still.) I even have friends who have NEVER had kids who have called me everything short of psychotic for not wanting one. 

I feel like my reasons for not wanting one are sound. I WANT to experience my labor, painful or not. I am terrified of having a needle inserted in my spine (yes I am aware that they don't leave the needle but a plastic catheter in there.) I have done a ton of research and see nothing good that can come out of it, besides reduced pain. I won't say anything more because some of the statistics truly horrified me. For me the negatives that I've read make the risks far greater than the reward. If it turns out to be more than I can handle I can and will ask for one; as we all know unless your labor is too far advanced, no one will tell you no. 

I've also rationalized it this way: My mother had 2 kids (one back labor, one breech that the doctor was able to turn last minute) with nothing. My SIL had all 4 of her kids with nothing and said that if it was truly as terrible as these people are trying to make it seem do I really think she would have pushed out 4? Women world wide have had babies without an epidural for thousands of years and lived to have another and another and another. If my grandma could have 8 kids without an epidural I think I can make it. The problem for me is besides my mom and one of my two SIL's (the other has had two babies both with epidural and has told me not having one sounds like suicide, because it was painful enough with the epidural) NO ONE has given me any positive support or advice. My OB/GYN has made it clear that I should keep all my options open (but she is notorious for not offering the epidurals unless requested) so I feel some support there. DH made it very clear to me that whatever I want is fine with him, he will support either choice, (which reminds me why I married him.) I guess I just feel like women who have had children shouldn't try to make this decision for me, or should at least support my choices and be encouraging.

I guess the point of all this is has anyone else ever felt judged because they chose NOT to have epidural? And if there is anyone out there who had a natural birth, please help! I need some encouragement, I'm sick of feeling like a leper.