Last name for LO - Opinions please?

tig594

I will try keeping this short...I could easily write a big fat book on how awful my ex-bf has been....

I am trying to decide the best last name to use for LO.  I was divorced several years ago and kept my married name.  It was just easier for me, my maiden name was a weird one and it didn't even really belong to me...it was my half sister's dad's surname.  I also didn't want to go through the process again of changing everything legally. 

LO's dad and I were HS sweethearts who went our seperate ways when we were 19. We reconnected 3 years ago (20 yrs later) and, in that time, I learned how crappy his life has turned out. He's an alcoholic who is currently off on another binge while I sit home sick and on bed rest trying to grow a healthy baby. He has a hard time keeping a job because of his addiction and just blew the chance to get off unemployment and work at a good company with decent pay because it's 2nd shift and "he knew he wouldn't like it." He is verbally abusive (never physically) and disconnected emotionally/mentally from basic things people like you and I probably view as normal in society.  He is also enabled by his mom and aunt and, imo, will never change. That said, I love him to death and always will but I cannot/will not speculate on what kind of dad he will be and have no illusions that we'll work things out and be a happy little family someday.  He is currently out of the picture as I don't want that kind of role model for my child. I am 99.9% sure he won't fight for custody or visitation which is great because, even though he has the rights to see his daughter, he doesn't deserve her.

Anyway, even though my last name is from a previous marriage I am considering giving it to my LO, as well.  It sounds weird even to me, but I am looking forward to her school years and would really like her to have the same name as her primary parent, me.  I know in this day and age many kids have different last names than there parents.  At 43, I have no desire to remarry and haven't for years. 

Opinions, please?