Update on me - tell me not to feel guilty!

amd1982

So after being released from the hospital last week after baby boy's dopplers improved (baby girl is stable but diminished) we had another ultrasound and doctor appointment today.

Since last week even, my comfort level has taken an absolutely nosedive. I am having a super hard time breathing. I have to sleep sitting up and even at that, it's not really "sleeping." My stomach feels like it's splitting in half. And my exhaustion level is horrific. Sorry to complain or vent. But it's getting to me.

We expected to go into today since we're basically at 34 weeks and be either admitted or given a date. Only because we were under the impression that our mfm didn't want us going much past 36 weeks. then he breaks the news that he's going to continue monitoring us twice weekly, but 38 weeks is his max. I almost cried. I cannot imagine 4 more weeks of this. I feel like I may break down. I want these babies to be as healthy as possible with little nicu time, so I'm trying to keep my head up and stay positive. But not being able to breathe is so scary sometimes...and I try and stay calm and focus, it's just getting difficult. Thanks for listening - I don't mean to vent, I feel so happy and blessed to be having both of these babies. However entering into our 8th week of commuting twice weekly for bpp's, nst's doc appointments, etc and having this roller coaster is getting to dh and i emotionally. we both sort of broke down over the weekend but are doing better now.

my silver lining is i keep telling myself "less nicu time, less hospital time." we can bring our babies home sooner and enjoy them. thanks for listening to my vent!!!