It's like we are at square one (vent...sorry)

mcanant

I HATE PUMPING. I hate worrying about how many ounces I get. I hate that i purposely wake up at 4am to pump, the most productive part of the day for most women (i see "oh yea i get 6-10 ounces in the am before or after first feeding"- i get 3.5-5.5). I hate that my whole day is spent worrying about whether I can make enough. I hate that the other FOUR women who pump in our pumping room all make wayyy more than my measly 12 ounces i need during the work day(including morning session). I hate that I can't just concentrate on other things while pumping. NO, i do that and the flow stops. I hate having to do compressions almost the entire 15 min i pump. I hate crying at 4am and then crying at work after I have a bad session. I hate my boobs hurting and my arms and back hurting from compressions and keeping my head down. Everyday is a struggle.I hate how even when I am done pumping, i then hand to get another .5 ounce out, because it means that darn much. One good day will equal two bad ones. Two months in of pumping at work and I am about to hurt someone. My poor husband, who is great support, can only do so much. I HATE PUMPING. That is all.

 

*and yes, i have tried all the tricks short of taking supplements (which i dont want to do because when im with LO and weekends supply is great if not too much). I also have a freestyle and have tried another pump and no difference there, so it must just be the way i respond to the pump. 

 

ANYONE THAT SAYS THERE IS NO USE CRYING OVER SPILT MILK HAS OBVIOUSLY NEVER BREASFTFED. IT'S A F-ING TRAGEDY.