Had "The Talk" with MIL.

leilei7369

Many of you can recall my MIL & me having issues. On the day of our delivery she and FIL completely ignored all of our wishes and actully used her sister in law  (hospital admin) to get my room number so that they could call our room (which was something we asked everyone not to do). Last friday my DH explained to her that she and FIL crossed major boundary lines that day and after.... She then went into drama mode and immediately broke out the tears. This lady can cry on cue. So here I am last friday unaware my DH had this convo with his mom... I get a phone call... Well I couldn't answer the call at the time (IDK who was calling.) I then check the voice mail and it's MIL sobbing on the message. Needless to say I gave it a few hours before talking to her because I knew she was trying to play the pity party game. That's her M.O. (I also called my mom and got some really great advice as to how to handle the call. I didn't want to have a reactionary response to MIL's behavior on the voicemail.)

When I called MIL and explained to her how I felt about what they had done during the delivery she then says in response,"You don't sign my birthday cards." HUH? (later on the conversation I had to tell her, "I grew up in a house full of women tears don't make an impression on me. Neither does twisting my words. I also know when someone is being passive aggressive and 'taking a dig' at me in disguise of a joke." (She cries to get her way. She's the only girl in her family.) She was grasping at straws to cast aspersions onto me. I was really firm and told her not to twist my words. I had to keep putting her in check to stay on topic.

I ended up telling her all of the things that I take issue with in our relationship. I also told her that I do own my part for our relationship being poor. I quit trying to be her friend. I tried to have a relationship with her in the past and she would decline every invitation to spend time together. I took that to mean she didn't like me and had no interest in spending time together...So I just stopped trying. She told me that our conversation was the worst she's ever had and she's scared of me. Scared of me? I seriously have never said a single rude thing to her. If anything you'd swear I was a stepford wife around MIL. (I think what she meant was she can't manipulate me) I told MIL, "Our talk isn't the worst thing in the world. We're having an open and honest conversation about how we feel and now we can move on in a positive manner.". 

We ended on a positive note and she's actually visited twice since and it's been pleasent. My FIL looked very contrite when he saw me last saturday. I think he was snapped back into reality and out of the baby haze. Hopefully we can move forward and have a genuine relationship. She really is a good person I just think she's had a really difficult time adjusting to her family's dynamic changing.  Have any of you ladies had "the talk" with your MIL/FIL's since giving birth?