Just thought I'd post

pinitbaby

I just wanted to share something as being a single mom..

I was in a relationship for 13 yrs which ended horribly-abusive: verbally, emotionally, financially and physically.. left 5 times and it took him trying to kill me to leave for good. I had 3 kids with this man and felt horribly alone and vulnerable. I left the life of a drug dealer and money and comforts and my house that was paid for and all the luxuries to start out from square one, Packed my pathfinder with our clothes and moved 4 hours away so there was no chance of me going back there with my kids. He was released from jail a year later and he has developed a good relationship with our kids again and he sought help so I do give him credit for that but that's as far as I go with him.

I honestly never thought I'd find anyone ever again. I thought I had actually found someone after 2 years and I wasn't looking for a relationship at the time either. He had a good paying job, worked hard at everything he did, came from an awesome family and he grew to love me and I fell hard for him. We were both shocked when I got pregnant, like we knew but we werent ready for it. Anyways I moved me and my kids in with him as per his request, changed my kids school in april and he even put an offer in on a bigger house for us in may...well turns out he got a lil attention from a home wrecker at his friends house and that was the end of us..he said he wanted a break and i said no way in hell because we had worked through everything else and I was pregnant and he was not about to give up. I went to his house the next day to talk and found him in bed with this girl.. I told him from the get-go that I won't put up with any crap and I packed up my kids and left. It amazes me how a man can just flip his personality and emotions. I let his family know what was going on and it turns out this is what he does to all of his gf's when he gets bored of them, he will just have another one lined up for when he tells the current one he wants a break-that's how he breaks up with girls..nice eh? He doesn't care about me or this baby and I have come to terms that I will be alone for the birth and when I come home.

 I've been down this road before and thankfully I was able to keep my lease at my house and it cost alot to get everything up and running again but I really am happy being alone now. I'm glad it happened when it did because I see now that it could have potentially ended in a worse situation. There are many more factors as to why I'm glad I'm not with him but its still upsetting no doubt. I consider myself lucky to have what I have, which isn't alot but I have my kids and my health, a small handful of family and this beautiful baby in my belly who I absolutely cannot wait to meet

I just wanted to share because I hear awful stories and I know what it feels like to be vulnerable and unwanted and just flat out shitty. Apparently God doesn't hand us what we can't handle, it makes you wonder though lol just know that there IS help out there and there are better times ahead, the support is available. Don't ever give up on yourself and find something that inspires you. There are so many moms on this site to admire and I find comfort knowing I can post on here and someone will just read it, they don't have to respond but I hope that it might get through to someone who isn't feeling the greatest or isn't in the best situation. I have just been realizing alot of things lately and thought I could try to put a positive message out there that you're not alone and you are soo worth it

Thanks so much for reading xo