damn you pregnancy brain...

calliTyler

So it took me about 30 minutes of staring at my computer screen to remember what on earth I was going to write before I finally remembered. lol. 

Anywayyy... I took a test on the 5th, at night, and got a BFP! This is DEFINITELY a surprise pregnancy, so I'm still kind of in shock, but coming to terms with it and dare I say, a little bit excited. haha. This is my 2nd time around doing this and I'm finding out I need a little bit of a refresher with some of this, considering DS was born in late 2010. 

My biggest thing right now is the fact that I am SOOO exhausted! OMG! I am used to drinking like 2-3 cups of coffee first thing in the morning and this decaf crap is NOT cutting it. lol. Any tips on what I can do??? I got to work this morning and LITERALLY fell asleep in front of my computer this morning at 10:45... sitting up. Only for 10 mins, but still. Lol! I'm thinking about calling up my OB and seeing what they think about me cutting back on my caffeine intake a little at a time. Also, anyone have any tips on what to do for a good afternoon boost of energy? I've noticed lately that I start crashing at about 2PM (I feel like I'm in zombie mode right now...) and I have to figure out a good way to stay awake, alert, and focused. Blah.

Anddd PLEASE don't judge me on this, but this whole pregnancy thing is pretty confusing at the moment... I am no longer with DS dad anymore and LOs dad and I have only known each other for a few months but JUST got together a few weeks ago and poof... BFP. I'm REALLY nervous about telling my family because I'm not sure how they are going to take it. I am a young, single mom. And yes, I struggle at times, but I also survive and provide the best life I can for DS and myself (his dad is still in the picture, we just aren't together anymore). LOs dad has already said that he will be there (and yes, I know things can change... obviously. lol). We are supposed to sit down tonight and talk about what exactly our plans are for this. I figure it would be MUCH better for us to have a decent plan in place before we announce it to our families. 

I'm just afraid of the disapproving looks I think I'm going to get from my family... immediate and extended fam. I just keep thinking about how DS was unplanned and I was just as scared then, but everything turned out just fine and I keep crossing my fingers and praying everything goes the same way this go around. I know they are my family and will love me no matter what, but I can help but think all this negative stuff... ugh.

I know that this is not the best time to have a kid (not sure if there ever is a perfect time for it. lol) and definitely not the best of circumstances (on my end at least) and I can't help but think "Greatttt... this is all they are going to point out." But then I think, okay... you did this once under VERY similar circumstances and survived it then. You can do it again. Neither one of us (LOs dad and I) agree with abortion and we both agree that we have to accept responsibility for our actions. LOs dad has a very stable job and is set financially, so that's not a worry for us. I could easily go on about all the positive things about this guy, but it would be a lot. Lol. But yeah, I'm still nervous as hell about spilling the beans to family, and friends! Any encouragement/positive words would be great right now!