DS won't latch. Frustrated and exhausted.

course11

DS is two weeks old and won't latch; in fact he seems to have an aversion to my breast. (I had a mastectomy 18 months ago so I only have one breast to work with...)

The hospital LC started me pumping and using a breast shield from when DS was a day old. He would latch onto the breast shield but it was a shallow, bad latch that hurt quite a bit -- he wouldn't open his mouth all the way. Nonetheless, we kept at it and he would stay latched for 10-20 minutes at a time. At the hospital LC's recommendation, we supplemented with formula.

Cut to our first pedi appointment when DS was 5 days old. I mentioned our BF problems (the shield wasn't great, he wasn't latching well) and our pedi set us up with an appointment to see a second LC, who immediately told me to stop with the breast shield and get rid of the bottle. She put us on syringe feeding only and recommended lots of skin-to-skin time and offering the breast often. In her office, DS did a great job of rooting and opening wide...he just stopped short of latching. She seemed sure he would transition.

It's 9 days later and nothing has improved. If anything, syringe feeding has exacerbated the problem, because he gets faster flow from the syringe than from my breast, PLUS he has no sucking instinct (and/or he's developing a similarly bad shallow suck on the end of the syringe). And he is positively averse to my breast: if I put him anywhere near it he turns his head away and gets upset.

I'm becoming pretty upset at the whole situation. I opted for a single mastectomy in hopes of having kids and BF them. I never imagined I would have a child who rejected the breast so entirely.

Second LC has now recommended the Lact-Aid SNS, which we ordered before really understanding that a baby has to be able to latch for it to work. It also looks to be just as elaborate a setup as pumping and syringe feeding, which is completely exhausting me.

Part of my upset is in getting conflicting advice from these LC's, and in particular the second one who doesn't seem to take into account my exhaustion level and ability to keep up an elaborate system of trying to get my son to stop hating my breast.

I don't know how long I can keep up any of these recommendations, frankly. I'm pumping almost every two hours, then we syringe feed what I've expressed to DS. I'm sad and tired and feel like a terrible mom. I don't want to give up on BF but I don't think I have the stamina to keep this up for an indefinite period as we keep experimenting.

Any ideas?