Seriously struggling

SaphrineDragon

With being alone. 

I'm single and expecting and hate it! My ex and I had a great relationship. We had even talked about marriage but then we had some issues and broke up. Months later we got back together and just days later I found out I was expecting. Baby isn't his and he isn't ready for kids so he walked.

I hate myself and the whole situation. I'm excited for the baby and all but I don't like being alone. I miss him terribly and feel stupid and pathetic when I have a break down. We have kept in touch sort of and I know he misses me but he has made it clear that all we ever will be is friends. 

I don't know how to deal with it and pretending it doesn't hurt still only makes the melt downs worse. I miss being loved and held. The most attention I get now is from the cat and its only because she wants to eat the bird.

I'm sorry but I don't have anyone that I can really talk to and I'm having a moment.