Better to live close or far from grandparents? Really need advice

FirstTimer123

Hello,

 I need some advice from women who DON'T have fantastic relationships with their mothers... My mother is very very very possessive of me, and essentially ruined the first 6 years of my marriage due to it. I am pretty sure she has borderline personality disorder. She is also very narcissistic and over dramatic. Everything is about her. I have been married about 9 1/2 years and we are still recovering from our rocky years. It's gotten a lot better in the last year or so, and we are currently expecting out first baby   in 6 weeks! 

 I currently live about an hour away in a town home. Hubby and I were house hunting for a single family. We have found an amazing one. Only problem is, it is about 35 minutes away from my parents. This is making me majorly panic. I already had tons and tons of fears of my mom being overposessive of baby but I feel like its easier to draw boundaries when you are a bit of a distance away... Hubby was like, 20minutes is not gonna make difference. But then, the other day I was massively triggered when my mother said "aren't you glad that you are moving closer now?"lol... My reaction was "it's not THAT much closer!" and my mom said "well, 20 minutes closer is a LOT!" This completely freaked me out...

 Mind you, things with my parents have improved a lot in the last year or two, but my memories from the past still scare the crap out of me. My mom is better but still kind of twisted... Like I sad, very narcissistic ...She is a very vain woman. The other day she says, "I want to teach my grandson to wink at me when he is 2, because I am gonna look even HOTTER than I do now!" hubby and I cringed soooooo much! Sh is 60 (though she claims 58). She is beautiful and looks young but COME ON! Hubby looked like he would vomit. Things like that make me want to run 1000 miles away, not closer!

Hubby says I just need to draw and enforce boundaries for the well being of my child..only thing is.  I am so tired of drawing oundaries ... I am exhausted. I am already having the fear of drawing more boundaries when baby comes and then throw in 20 minutes closer into the mix...I wish I lived inat least three hours away honestly, but that's not happenening any time soon. And this house for me means I can't escape. Meaning if she gets too overbearing, I can't be like let's move the hell out of this state! I can't take it anymore! It's a huge investment and one we need to be committed to for many years!  

So that's my only reason for not wanting this house....being 20 minutes closer to my parents. Hubby is getting really annoyed with me and said, fine if you don't want it we won't get it. But I know how much he wants this house...People with problem moms...how do you do it? Is it better to be further? Does it make a difference?