NBR - Is it just me or is this tacky

k.martell

BG - DH & I have not been on speaking terms with his older brother & his wife for years.  DH & I have made many many attempts in the last year to move on and communicate with them now that we all have a family but every attempt has been ignored (emails, FB, etc.  I'd call but we don't have their number).  DHs parents want us all to 'make up' and we made it clear to them last weekend that we have made a huge effort and it's just being ignored so we are done.  I still send holiday, birthday cards and gifts for the kids birthdays or holiday.

BIL & SIL's DS had a birthday party earlier in the month that we were never invited to.  We do live 2+ hrs from them but we were in town staying at my ILs for the weekend.  MIL asked if they could ride with us to the party and I had to tell her I wasn't aware of a party, never invited and already had plans with my family.

Even before we heard of the party I sent a gift from their Amazon Wishlist.  Today I got a generic photo card  from them using images from the party thanking us for "making nephew's birthday special".  I find this to be pretty tacky as it's not a personalized note mentioning the gift and we were never invited to the party.

Am I over reacting based on the situations or is this tacky?