MIL is driving me Nuts!!!!

katybug499

I need a little advice on how to handle this situation.  We haven't had our 20 week ultrasound yet (it's on Monday) but at a 14 week scan we got a fairly confident, "It's a girl!" from the ultrasound tech.  Knowing that my MIL desperately wanted a girl of her own and is now calling every 10 seconds to find out if we knew the sex yet, I let my husband tell her what the tech told us.  You could hear the woman screaming and cheering in the phone from across the room.  We told her that the tech told us that we may just have a "late bloomer" and we may find out later it's another boy (we have one son already who is almost 5) but she chooses not to acknowledge that.  And this, I understand.  She has two sons and one grandson and is extremely excited about a girl of any kind to spoil.  

But now...now comes the problem.  And it's a combination of my problem, and her problem, and I just don't know how to handle it without either compromising my beliefs or being unreasonable.  My parents had two boys and two girls and the four of us were raised basically the same way.  I was in sports as a girl, I also played with dolls and played dress-up, but all the toys in the house (save for a few) were "the toys" not "girls toys" or "boys toys."  I personally do not care for pink as a color.  It reminds me of pepto, and calamine lotion.  It reminds me of sickness!  So, we decided on a stars and planets theme for the baby's room (which works out well for us because it's a cross-gender theme.)

 And she Hates It.  Told us that Space themes are for boys.  She started sending us little knitted pink hats and pink dresses and pink shoes (which I wouldn't put on my infant in a million years anyway...heels for a 3 month old?? please, it's just not me...*I* don't even wear shoes like that!)  I've asked her to stop, to look at our registry and, if she feels the need to buy us things for the baby, make it things we need and not just spend her money on things that I won't want to put on our baby anyway.  And we've also reminded her that the baby may not even turn out to be a girl at all!  But she doesn't stop.  She says that the stuff she's buying is so cute and if I stopped being "a stubborn feminist" then I would stop fighting "the way things are" and put the baby in pink.

 My husband says that I should just let her have her fun and we won't have to put the baby in any of the things she sends unless it's in a picture to send to his mom or when we visit...but I really don't like it.  She's spending money on things that we won't use!  I hate to see her waste her resources when she could actually be buying things that will really help us out!  Isn't that what people make baby registries for in the first place?  I try suggesting that she throw in *something* that we could use, diapers, a cute crib sheet, bottles....pacifiers...Something!  But she won't budge from trying to create a girly wardrobe that I'll just put in a closet and never use!  And it's not just clothes, it's a pink rug, pink curtains, pink pillows, and pink dolls.  I know she can do what she likes with her money but it seems like such a waste.

I'm just not sure what to do and it's getting very frustrating.