IL's are acting like children (long, but if I don't vent, I'll scream)

Ya Never Know

Let me preface this by saying that I know that my IL's are just excited, but they are really making mountains out of mole hills with this pregnancy.

I told DH that I didn't want anyone showing up at the hospital while I'm in labour. I know some families have traditions where family will wait in waiting rooms for hours and hours until the baby is born... and that is not a tradition that I personally wish to uphold, and I have made that clear since day one.

Anyway, DH had not made this clear to his family, and every time they come over, they TELL me that I have to call them as soon as I go in to labour so they can get there, blah blah blah... I get that they're excited about this baby since it's their first grandchild, but I certainly don't like to be TOLD what I HAVE to do to appease them when I'm in labour.

Anyway, being a hormonal ball of "due yesterday", I blew up at DH since he said that his brother would be showing up to the hospital. FFS, what part of NO ONE can't DH understand?!? If his brother shows up there, then for sure, his parents are going to come too, because they will feel entitled..

We had a big fight yesterday, and in the end, DH did end up calling his parents and brother, and telling them that we would like them to just stay home until we call them to let them know the baby is here. There's no reason they need to be there until she is, and I don't want the distraction of them there (or anyone there) while I'm in labour, I think it's already going to be hard enough. I really want that part to just be DH and I.

At the end of it all, they seemed okay with it... And then as soon as DH got to work this morning, they called him at work to tell them that they were all upset. Apparently DH didn't explain things to them properly, and they thought that we were saying they couldn't come to the hospital AT ALL once the baby was born... They tend not to listen very well....... Anyway, once DH cleared that up, DH's mom admitted that the reason why they wanted to be at the hospital in the first place was so that they could be the FIRST ONES to see the baby....

For the love of pete.. again, I get that they're excited, and that this is their first grandchild, but this in my opinion, extremely childish behavior!! Not to mention that they're causing a lot of anxiety for me, and for DH just because of how they feel about the situation. FFS.. it's not up to them. They've been driving me up the wall for months.

DH's mom has got a full nursery in her freakin' house because for some reason she thinks when this kid is born, she's going to be mothering her, and having her over night? If she thinks that, she's got another thing coming. This kid will not be staying over at ANYONE's house but mine until I'm ready to make that decision.

Out of both sets of parents, I honestly thought that mine would be the ones to be all nuts, but they've been so great through it all. My mother doesn't impose her ideals on to me, and I really appreciate that.. she was totally comfortable with whatever DH and I decided. And when I talked to her about the IL situation, she called it... She said that DH's mom was probably just afraid that she wouldn't be the FIRST to see the baby, and in the end, she was right.

I just don't get that. Maybe it's because I'm not a grandparent or whatever, but I can't understand what difference it makes who gets to see her first?!?? Who cares!??? As long as you get to see her, I would think that's what matters... And to make this situation in to such drama for your son and daughter-in-law at a time when they really don't need drama, because you need to be FIRST is just so childish and selfish!

I'm seriously friggin' pissed off at them right now. I don't want to be, but I would have just appreciated if they could just respect our wishes and not have made such a freakin' spectacle out of the whole thing.

DH's parents just do not listen, and they really don't think about anyone's needs but their own. Another example of this is that we told them that we don't really have room for a basinet, and that even the nurse at the classes we took recommended using the crib from the get go. We liked that idea. Well, DH's parents would not have it as they wanted to buy the basinet... so I said, "Okay fine, whatever.. but we need something small because we don't have the room for it"... What do they do? They bought some huge basinet online. I know this makes me sound like a jerk because it's a gift, and I should just appreciate it.. but the thing is 4ft x 4ft, and it's ROUND. It's a beautiful basinet, but we already told them we didn't have room, and they buy this freakin' huge thing. It's in our bedroom now, there's nowhere to put it, and we just end up tripping around it. I can't even put it beside the bed because it's huge, so I'm going to end up having to get up constantly for feedings etc... so at that point, we may as well just put the baby in the crib like we'd planned. I was hoping they'd think of our tiny house and maybe say to themselves, yeah... this basinet is too big, but nope.... I would have been fine with it if it was small and fit beside the bed... but again, they only buy what THEY like, what THEY want to see... Ugh... They just drive me nuts.