How to handle this... long

Beth1031

My MIL told me a few months ago that she wanted to plan a shower for DH and I.  She has planned one for each of my SIL for her side of the family and has told DH and I a few times she wants to do one for us.  My mom is planning one for my side of the family as well.  My work also wants to plan one.  I would just as well have one shower with everyone together, however this is not possible as DH and I live about 4 hours from both our parents and they both live on opposite sides of the state from each other.  My mom has already picked a date and reserved a location for a shower, and my work has also set a date for a shower here.  I work at a church and there are a lot of weekend events coming up in the next two months.  I am due June 4th and my OB doesn't want me traveling after May 1st ,really. There are only 2 or 3 weekends between now and then that we don't have plans or events between now and then, and people are still asking us to make plans for those weekends.  My MIL is completely wrapped up in her niece's wedding right now and is not someone who is good at planning, anyway.  I know she feels that my mom has been "more involved" with my pregnancy and if my schedule fills up with work obligations and the showers others have planned she will get "pissy" about it.  However I don't want to bring up the subject and sound gift grabby or greedy.  I am just fine with not having the shower, but I know she will be upset, even though she has not made an effort to plan anything.  We will have to travel to get to the shower and with our work schedules it will take some planning on our part to make it work.  How do I handle this?  She has already voiced to DH and I that she wants to be more involved and feels that we aren't including her in things, which is untrue, as we have told her things and involved her as much as my parents, and she has been weird with me since we told her I was expecting.  Any suggestions how to del with this.... Just let it go and let her get mad (even though she will accuse us of purposefully planning too many thing to avoid and that we put my family first) or let her know or schedules are rapidly filling up (at the risk of sounding gift grabby?)... I am more inclined to just let it go, but am stressing about her impending freak-out and melt down...