How traumatic is divorce for kids?

ldoo

My kids are 3.5 and almost 2. I swear if I didn't have them, I'd have left already. I feel like the most selfish person in the entire world to leave for just my own happiness. Hubby isn't abusive. He used to be verbally abusive, yelling ALL the time, but he's stopped and I think he really will stay that way. He will do anything to keep me.

There are many issues, and I could keep trying and keep trying, but I know in my heart it won't work (we are trying therapy, though).

I'm scared about what divorce and having to go back and forth would do to my girls. I could definitely stay in the marriage for them. But, how much unhappiness do I have to endure before I put myself first.

Is it ever OK to put myself first when I'm a mother?