Baptism vs Infant Dedication (family struggle)

nerdbaby

Of course, isn't it always?

So, background:

I'm Christian, no denomination, I just decided in high school (after a lot of thought and reflection and argument and such) that I believed in Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior and I would say the "doctrine" I subscribe to is to follow Christ's teachings in the New Testament and attend a church that does the same.  Hubs is from a Catholic family, complete with Uncle Somebody who's a Catholic priest.  It came up today that his family (MIL especially) is expecting a Catholic baptism, want baby to wear the family baptism gown, have Uncle Somebody to do the ceremony in the family church, etc etc etc.

So to keep things simple, here's the troubling equation:

I struggle with the concept of baptism for babies because I believe it's a choice you make at a certain age of maturity (different for everyone). I don't believe in baby purgatory and shudder at the whole thought behind it.

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DH doesn't care if we baptize baby.  He doesn't care if we go to church ever. He had no opinion prior to today, other than "whatever you want" since between the two of us I am the one who has an active spiritual life. 

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Now that his mom has brought it up, his stance has changed to "but it's important to my mom so can't we just do it." And for him it would be just that, but for me it's more. 

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I mentioned the infant dedication service that my church encourages for parents to give a personal testimony and introduce their child to the congregation, no ritual, no "baby may not make it to heaven without this" scariness, just a statement of intent to raise your child in the faith.  Response to this from MIL was "Well that's the same as a baptism, why not just do the whole thing?"

[Well if it's the same, then infant dedication at the church I regularly attend it is! All are welcome to attend. Cake served promptly after.]

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Marriage is about compromise, putting others needs before your own, giving giving giving, yaddy yaddy yadda...

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Is this a time to compromise or is this a stand your ground time? I wish it was as simple as re-watching the SATC when Miranda and Steve basically have the same argument.. but Miranda didn't believe in anything, and this is real life, so yeah.... 

Thoughts?  Also open to different views on baptism if we have any Catholics in the house.