Gosh I hope I don't get flamed.. but I need to see if anyone has experienced this..

dette7820

So, we went to our ultrasound Friday and they are 80% it's a girl.. I have to go back in 2 weeks to be sure.. but here's where I need to just get this out- praying someone else has felt this way. 

Through my entire pregnancy thus far- EVERYONE has told me that I was having a boy. Of course no one every knows until the ultrasound- but every single thing pointed to it.. the wives tales, the way I am carrying, my symptoms... (which I know can be either sex) But, I think I heard it so much that I just convinced myself and got ultra excited to have a boy.. I mean, I was SO excited.. and as much as I tried to remind myself that it could be a girl, I just didn't believe it was..

When the Tech told us.. God, I hate admitting this.. I just wanted to cry. Once she left the room I did cry.. no, I sobbed. I was heartbroken.. and so many mixed emotions have run through my head since yesterday.

*Who am I to be disappointed- when there are thousands of couples out there who can't get pregnant at all. Shouldn't I be a little more thankful. How selfish am I to be so greedy..

* How on earth can I love 2 girls. I know how that must sound--- I dont mean it like that- but I love DD so incredibly much I can't imagine having that much love for another girl. I knew with a boy, I could.. and I know people do it all the time- but I just don't get it and I fear that. I fear that I will treat them differently.. god I pray I don't. 

* I fear that if I don't get excited about this girl, that she will feel it.. and that absolutely breaks my heart.. I need to change this feeling.

* My DH is ok with it not being a boy, but I feel like even though it's a 50 50  chance, I feel like I let him down..

Please- anyone.. someone.. tell me I am not alone.

Please. Anyone have advice on how to do this and be excited again?

thank you ladies.