Delivery and Support Person - Dealing with Family

a+bhughes

Hi Everyone!

I'm really new to this board but have a bit of a pickle that my husband and I are tossing around. Our baby is going to be born in about 9 weeks and here in Canada you are allowed 2 people as support during the delivery.

I feel as though that the delivery of your child should be between husband and wife. It's a special moment and quite frankly I don't need anyone else in on seeing my business other than the medical professionals that will be in there. Initially when we did discuss this, we agreed that we would have my SIL in as she too is a family physician. I didn't want any favoritism between our mothers. My mother is also 77 yrs old (I'm the 11th child) and feel that she is a bit old and is tired from caring for my dad, so I don't feel its a necessary responsibility that she should take. I do not feel comfortable whatsoever having my MIL in the room however my husband feels otherwise.

He feels that in the "pecking order" if my SIL couldn't attend due to work commitments (she has her own practice) and my mother couldn't/wouldn't be in the room, then his mom should be in there. I am really uncomfortable about it all. I mean I'm going through the labor, my husband is the one attending the classes with me - shouldn't I have the say in who is present or not in the room for MY comfort level? He feels that this is the case that if it involves my family it is ok, but when its his it's not and I feel like he thinks I'm favoring one side over the other. In a way I guess I am, but my mom has seen all my bits not his mother. My SIL would be going in as another medical professional so should anything happen, she can at least give another opinion and also ensure that they are doing everything correctly. Can anyone shed any light on this for us?

I'm also feeling anxious about them being here right on the get go. I want some privacy and time to bond with our baby and not have any visitors. My family typically doesn't come around for the first 2 weeks when the baby is born, just because of that. To give the parents time to adjust and bond. My MIL wanted to be here for 2-3 weeks to "help" out and all. I am very appreciative of that gesture, I am however I just feel like it's a bit much you know. We have told them that they can stay for a week max which is great, but I can't help feel that it's just an invasion of our time with the baby. This is a special moment and I know everyone is excited. I know we're going to be tired, but shouldn't we be able to say when we can have visitors? We're the one's that are going to be adjusting to the new baby, why not start from the very beginning? Am I just being hormonal and territorial?

What have your experiences have been and how have you dealt with family? Labor and support people? I would appreciate the feedback.

Hugs,

AH