trouble with the in-laws...

KaitM5

Let me start off with some background info. I have been married for just over 2 years now, but I was friends with my hubby all through high school before we started dating (in college) and were married 4 years after that... So we've known each other for quite awhile and have spent a lot of time with each others parents and families. I never imagined I would have one of "those" relationships with my mother in law or any of the in laws for that matter....

We are expecting our first child in early May this year and so far the 3 big happy moments for us have been finding out we were pregnant, having the ultrasound to find out its a girl , and now this week we decided on godparents. (not legal guardians, just godparents/ sponsors.)

My father-in law is pretty conservative and likes to throw religion around, which is ok, but he only goes to church about 2 times a year and only uses the bible in his favor, but wont look at himself or the fact that he has been fighting with his brother for the past 4 years about such trivial things as a hunting trip. They wont forgive and forget any of the petty little things.

Hubby and I decided early in the pregnancy that we would find out what we are having so by the time the ultrasound rolled around, we scheduled it so we could have our moms and his grandma present over our Christmas visit. (We live in NY, but are from MN. Military family) His father was completely against us finding out. he thought it was one of the only times in our lives we could be completely surprised and basically ruined our experience and the happiness was clouded.

Now this past weekend, hubby and I sat down to decide who the godparents would be. I have one brother and he has one sister, but they are both quite young and he didn't feel comfortable placing such responsibilty on her, and with regards to her feelings, we thought it would be best to not choose my brother and not her. So instead we went with our best friends, the maid of honor and best man from our wedding.

We talked to my parents and they were completely understanding, and we called our siblings and explained our decision and they were both perfectly fine with it. HOWEVER when we told his parents they were completely silent. said nothing. hubby ended up saying goodbye and hanging up with no response from them. Turns out that mom was concerned about how his sister would feel and thought we were judging her too harshly- even cried herself to sleep that night! and dad has an issue with my best friend (maid of honor) who has been my bf my whole life, literally since we were 5! But she is an open lesbian.

 SOOOO long story short, mom got worked up over nothing and with my father in-law;s ignorant ways, he got my hubby all worked up and we ended up getting in a huge fight. Got grandpa involved and he calmed hubby down and explained that it is a non issue as far as a ceremony is concerned and having BF participate, and that mom and dad were way over stepping. Dad thought we should have had a discussion with THEM before the decision was made. GOOD JOKE! Hubby and I did, decision has nothing to do with them... He can point out bible verses that say how its an abomination to be gay, but will disregard the message of forgiveness throughout the whole bible as well as other "rules"

 I feel as though we are owed an apology and I have told my hubby that if they/ father in law ruins one more moment in this happy time I will not put up with it and wont have them be part of it! I spent most of monday and tuesday crying over this crazy situation and felt completely raw. Baby will be here in about 13 weeks and I am so over the in laws....

anyone been in similar situations? I just had to vent.