When do they actually start napping?

Pelusa214

This is getting effing ridiculous.  I pretty much spend my entire day trying to get this baby to either eat or sleep.  I'll spend an hour with her screaming, spitting out the paci and trying to shove her hands down her throat just for her to sleep for 10 minutes.  Or not at all.  It's not like she's happy if I give up & just let her stay awake.  Then I spend my whole day shushing & rocking a screaming, overtired baby.  I've tried putting her to sleep sooner, keeping her up longer, swaddling (THAT was a nonstop, breath-holding screamfest & she didn't calm down, so don't even suggest it), shushing, walking, rocking, feeding, making the room warmer, making the room cooler, putting her in the swing.

Eating is just as bad.  Refusing to drink more than 2 ounces, just to be screaming bloody murder an hour or so later, to drink another 1-2 ounces, repeat, repeat, repeat.  I've tried making her wait 3 hours in between, and it'll work for a day and then back to the same old thing.

I truly, truly can't tell what this kid needs.  I feel like I'm completely incompetent.  I think she's hungry, and she'll only drink an ounce or two.  I think she's tired, and she'll scream & scream & scream when I turn out the lights.  She even starts crying when I start walking her towards the bedroom.  I've tried keeping the lights on, white noise, singing to her, SoundSpa projector, glow seahorse. 

She's on Prevacid for reflux, after 2 different doses of Zantac didn't work.  We're thickening her formula.  She still won't sleep or eat.

This is my second child like this.  WTH am I doing wrong??  I'm starting to feel like it's my fault, but I don't know what I'm doing to create children who fight sleep SO HARD and are crying all day long because of it.