how easy would it be for X to get 50 percent custody???

starbundle

How do I start getting to the place of "he deserves time with his kids and I should be happy he wants to spend it with them"?

We settled our divorce case a month ago and part of the agreement is he gets a 30 percent timeshare. We have not had an amicable parting in any way. He hasn't paid any child support since he left a year ago, he's been verbally abusive, while we had our temp order in place he had an option to get more time (overnights) and he never stepped up (all the while claiming he missed his kids and just wanted to be a parent), he's acted like a giant tool for so long...it's hard to try to move past it. 

I'm trying hard to find it in me to come to a good place for the kids. Deep down I want them to have a relationship with him, but while we were leaving court he said to me "in 1 year I will petition for 50/50 custody, I will have built up a years worth of consistency and this 30 percent will become 50".  

I'm really apprehensive about this...I know he's their father but they are babies still (18 months). Everyone keeps saying yeah right he's a flake and he'll screw up what time he has with them now. but he live with his parents, I don't see why he wouldn't just pick them up, drop em off, and go out and do what he needs to do and still have it look like he's taking care of them. UGH! 

Any advice? I know I can't fight battles in the future but I can prepare for them. And any advice on how to start giving the giant tool the benefit of the doubt, and really starting to come to the place where I feel good about the time he spends with them? I want to be the person you see on tv with the great co-parenting skills...but I think I have more of the "these are MY kids" attitude (especially since I've been taking care of them for the past year with no help from him).  Right now it feels like I'm still fighting for custody, especially with this treat of taking me to court for 50 percent.