Holiday Debate... (long)

SMJ1106

Okay, so I know there are others worried about the holidays and I was wondering what you would do in my situation...

DD is extremely sensitive to noise and won't sleep without a completely quiet house AND loud white noise on (she hears noises through the white noise and will wake up).  Everytime people visit, we go run errands with her, or she misses a nap we have an extremely fussy baby (I mean screaming to the point I think we have to go to the ER because something else must be wrong). 

I am dreading the 2 hour drive to visit DH's family for Thanksgiving... because I know she will be overstimulated and won't sleep while we are there.  I'm debating:

1) Going for the day but come back home that evening (hoping she will sleep in the car on the ride home and not scream the whole time from missing naps... pretty much a 50/50 chance)

2) Go and stay a night... which the family wants us to do.  But, she would be a nightmare to take care of because she wouldn't have her swing to nap in, probably wouldn't sleep well at night because the house will be loud with so many people in it...

3) Or, not go at all...

FWIW - I EBF and DH can't get her to sleep, nap or soothe her at all so I end up doing everything which gets frustrating. Also, DD has a milk protein sensitivity so I can't eat any dairy products... which means Thanksgiving dinner will most likely suck for me!   I know I would be the one to have to do everything while we are there and knowing she would be a fussy mess just makes me lean towards not going at all.  Plus his family thinks we are doing everything wrong (we should be giving her water, rice cereal to make her sleep at night, they think BF is pointless, I shouldn't feed her on demand, the list goes on....) 

But then I think... we'll never know how she will be if we don't try.  Ugh the debate... Would you go?  Overnight, just the day, not at all????