I get frustrated by those who have never experienced it, but they "know all about it"

celestialnyte

One of my friends from college is getting married in December. The dress had to be ordered by May - she sent an email out that said, "Please order your dresses by May. If you're pregnant by May, talk to the dress shop about what size you should order. If not, you should be okay by December, even if you're showing a little bit it should still fit."

Erhm ... well that threw me a little bit. Every single one of her bridesmaids was TTC at the time. There's actually 2 of us that will be pregnant (that I know of) at the wedding. Her MOH is about 6 mths along (she actually found out before the May cut off for ordering).

Today I got the dress in and tried it on, and it fit. (I never had the opportunity to try it on - I just ordered it based off my measurements over the phone because the shop is 3 1/2 hours away from where I am.) I texted her to let her know that I got it, and that it fit, and that I was pretty excited because it would still hide any bloat/water weight that I will inevitably gain between now and December. Her answer? "You shouldn't be showing by then! You just got pregnant!" 

I didn't SAY I was showing - I said it was water weight and bloat. I explained it to her again - saying that the dr's scale said I lost 9 lbs, but I can't button some of my pants. She responded that she strives for the other bridesmaids "perfect pregnancy."

Maybe its the pregnancy hormones, but it frustrated me so much. She did this for my wedding, too. When I'd talk to her about my wedding, she had an opinion based on "her experience." When, she'd only been engaged for 2 mths when I got married, so for most of the planning she'd never HAD experience planning a wedding. Maybe helped others plan theirs, but never had it on her shoulders.

I just felt so ... judged....I guess. I'm heavyset to begin with, and I am having such a difficult time knowing I can't button my pants already. She's never been pregnant ... she's had friends who have been, but never herself. I don't know if they've all had these "perfect pregnancies" or if they've never told her about what they've gone through.