Am I making the right decision?

kmur4688

Hi - first off I'm new. I'm 23, almost 16 weeks along and I've just made the decision to leave the father of my child. Although the circumstances have been awful for a while, I can't help worrying that I am making the wrong decision for my baby. I am so worried my child will resent me later in life for not trying hard enough or something equally as silly. I know it's a dumb fear, especially after all I've gone through with the father of this baby, but I am just looking for some words of encouragement. 

 Basically, the father has a drug addiction. I knew that he liked to smoke weed occasionally and really thought nothing of it - just that it was a habit he needed to give up if he wanted to start being responsible. However it was way more severe than I realized and it all came out into the open very recently (more like pills, etc.) He had agreed to go to an out-patient rehab to try to be clean but every other day he would slip up and use again. 

 Along with the drug use came the constant lying - not only was he lying about stupid stuff but he was lying about going to work and going to treatment (which was very important for me if he was still trying to be in me and the baby's life) I have lost all trust in him and last night when I went to his house to see him and he was high again, it was the last straw.  

I have put up with about three months of this (plus the lying that occurred before I found out I was pregnant). He has not been there for me throughout the entire pregnancy - I have done most things on my own and I am financing everything on my own. He has shown up to doctor appointments to see the baby but I honestly view that as a privilege for him (who wouldn't love getting to watch a baby on an ultrasound screen!) that he does not deserve anymore. 

 I guess what bothers me the most is that he says that he wants to be a good dad and be there for the baby, but his actions speak so differently. For now I've written him off (not that he's tried to get in contact with me since the other night) but I was wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation and how did things work out? Thanks for any advice. I could really use some encouragement.