Very Serious Pregnancy Rant then Rave(kinda long)

Bugaboo09

So I have to admit that when I found out I was pregnant, I was more scared than happy. I honestly didnt feel ready for another one and I pretty much wasnt happy throughout my whole 1st trimester. History: I had very bad ppd with DS and basically the day we came home from the hospital I was miserable. I didnt like him and I cried for days on end. I didnt accept help. DH wasnt even able to take a day off of work to help me when we got home. SO when I found out I was pregnant with this one, I just kept thinking to myself; "How the hell am I going to do this with 2??!!" I couldnt even take care of myself AND a baby with DS. I literally felt like I was going out of my mind with DS, it was awful and I wouldnt wish that feeling on anyone! I am just scared to death to have that same experience with this new baby.....

Things are actually looking up very well Since I have started to feel LO move, I am feeling much more connected. I have been busting out the baby pictures/videos of DS and it reminded me of how much I loved him at baby stage. I am starting to get very excited about this baby! I have a plan that I will have help at my house for 1 month straight while I am on maternity leave. I have also advised my MW's that my meds will probably need to be doubled so I dont get ppd as bad again. So hopefully I can prepare a little better this time around. I seriously get goosebumps everytime I feel LO move around inside me.....it just makes me realize that everything WILL be allright