Long vent about DH...

jess!ca

Let me preface this by saying that some of you know my DH in real life, so please do not mention any of this to him at all.  I come to this board for support and friendship and sometimes need it as a venue to get things out, and this is what I am doing right now.  Sorry to sound paranoid.  Also, preface #2 to this vent:  I love my DH very very much... sometimes I just can't get him to think realistically!

So DH and I went to look at a daycare today, which was stressful to me just because it freaked me out but whatev.  I will get over it.  We work, we need daycare, end of story.

Anyway, we KEEP having the same fight over and over again about daycare and I am really getting super pissed.  DH keeps saying we could make part time daycare work and that he could stay home with the kid a couple of days a week.  Ok, first of all, DH's boss may retire soon, and we have no idea if the new person (whoever that may be) would allow such a thing.  This could happen before we need daycare, or a few months into it.  Second, DH and I work the same type of job.  He keeps saying he can "work from home' and stay home with the kid.  Um, yeah.  He has no idea about childcare and how much work it is.  If you are working from home, it is assumed you are WORKING, not caring for your child.  Third, our schedules are so volitile that he won't be able to make it consistent for a year or so.  For example, he may have to go to Washington and won't be able to stay home with kid on a Monday even if Monday is our designated stay at home day.  That is the nature of what we do. 

Paying for 3 days is only like $40 a week cheaper, and I know it adds up, but I would rather pay $2200 a year to have a locked in "safety net" for us to rely on for childcare all 5 days of the work week, and then if we want we can keep kid home a day a week with one of us to bond.  But having that care in place so that we are covered in any event should we have a big meeting or something come up is imperative in my opinion. 

Oh, and also, not to be a total b!tch, but it REALLY pisses me off that in all of these conversations, HE is the one staying home and not ME!  I feel like I am the "workhorse" of the family.  I do all the research into daycares, strollers, carseats, house projects that needs to happen before the kid arrives, I am the one dealing with being pregnant, and I am the bread winner.  I have even tried assigning him tasks to work on, but he continues to procrastinate to the point where I have to step in and help or take over because if I dont they won't get done and that is not acceptable.   Anyway, sorry for the vent, I am just really frustrated when people don't actually "solve" problems, they just present fairy tale solutions that wont really work and will cause me more of a headache when I have to deal with the problems it causes in the long run.

Thanks ladies... vent over.  I really needed that.