Hi everyone, I'm new...

faithita

Hi everyone... I'm new... sorry if this gets long, but I plan to be here a lot, so here I am.

I'm 33, DH is 34. We have been TTC since early 2010. I have endo. He has low count, and seems to be fine with everything else on the sperm front. My FSH happens to be a little high as well. Tried Clomid with no response, and low-dose injectables with no response. We talked to an RE about IVF (this was in early 2012), and he gave me 25% chance with my own eggs, and suggested that we look into DE. At the time, I was not there mentally.

My husband and I decided that we wouldn't do IVF... we pursued foster to adopt, but he was not there mentally. And as time goes by, it seems very important to me that I experience pregnancy.

SO, we've been thinking a lot. We had a consult with an RE yesterday, and she again gave me about 25% success with my eggs. She also said that she would put me on the strongest protocol that they have. (Yuck.) I feel like I don't even care to try with my eggs with those odds. We are totally out of pocket, and she will take me into their shared risk DE program. I think we are going to go for it.

So, now for my list of fears: Financially, this is a very scary thing. I am also experiencing all of the emotion of letting go of having MY biological child, and wondering about the child's emotions about this process as they grow up. I'm scared about the possibility of multiples. I'm scared that it won't work. My biggest fear is that I won't be able to recover if it doesn't.

Mostly, I just want to be a mom. And, so I am here... looking for support and advice... and despite all of this crazy whirlwind of emotion, very excited to get started.

U/s yesterday (day 5) showed that I am in fact getting ready to ovulate, which was a surprise to me. RE says that my uterus looks perfect, and that the lining looks nice and thick. Which I am taking as a good and hopeful sign for the future. Next steps are some labs, a repeat semen analysis, and me figuring out how to pony up the big bucks. Then we go on the waiting list for a donor, which should take approx. 1-3 months.

Sorry this is long... I look forward to hanging out with you guys and getting to know you in the coming months!