terrified to test (long and confusing)

ChristineRich06

The instant I had DD2, my Dec 2010 baby I knew I waned another. I was still in the hospital whenI said I wanted one more. My DH was married before and has 3 kids with his ex. So DD2 made #5 for him although his kids are older, he said he was done. His youngest (from before) is 18 and still lives with us, she just graduated HS and is leaving for college across the state in the fall. So that leaves us with a 5 year old and a 2 year old at home.

 In April I was having really bad headaches 3 to 4 days a week. We decided to stop my BCP to see if that was the issue. The headaches got better and the plan was to wait until AF showed up to get an IUD. In those two weeks we were careful at first but then DH decided it was ok to do whatever. I yelled at him because I thought  he didn't want any more kids. I didn't want him to be resentful of me if I did end up pregnant. May 5th AF showed up and DH said "so are you going to call for your IUD apointment now?" I said "yes but had to admit it was a little disapointed" ( I felt like this 2 week timeframe was my last chance) We were on our way to the apointment when DH said "you don't have to go you know" He's not the best with words so I knew this was his way of saying "if you are game, so am I" We cancelled the apointment and have been BDing since. Not really trying but not preventing either. Well as I said before my last AF was May 5th so I'm now about 5 or 6 days late... I know, I know I should just test and see but I'm terrified to know either way. AHHH three maybe? sorry for rambling I posted this on the DEC 2010 mom board too