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How involved is the mom-to-be?

I offered to throw my SIL a shower and recently her older sister has become a co-host. She gave me a list of people she thinks the mom-to-be would want invited and the list included some people I'm not so sure about.
I was thinking of getting together with SIL for lunch or something and getting a guest list straight from her as well as making sure I know things she is having aversions to, etc, but I don't want to burden her with what should just be fun for her. So how involved is a mom-to-be in her baby shower? 
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