Tacky but not sure what I can do....

kjenkins346

Last week my DH told me that we should start thinking about starting a registry and I asked him why we would do that since no one had offered to throw us a shower yet.  He responded that showers are usually a surprise so when the time is right (what ever that means) we should just do it.  My response was that, while in theory a surprise shower is nice, it doesn't seem that practical because I would have to know the date, and wouldn't who ever is throwing it need a guest list from me. So over the weekend when I checked into FB I saw that his sister created a shower event with just the date and when my DH came home from work, he asked if I had added any guests to the FB event. So apparently my SIL (and probably MIL) are planning to through a shower for DH and I. 

While I am very grateful that they have taken on doing this for us, my concern is that if I send SIL my requested guest list via FB, she may just invite people over FB (yuk) and not send actual invitations (likely scenario since she doesn't have much money and is on FB all the time).My other option is to just let them progress with what ever planning they are doing (for their side of the family) and maybe see if my mom and other SIL will throw us a separate shower and have them invite my friends since they know me better and I trust their taste level a lot more and know that they wouldn't do something so tacky. I have no doubt that FB invites will be just the first thing SIL and MIL will do around the shower that will make me cringe. (a "potluck" shower comes to mind since that is what they did for my SIL's shower)    

My only other thought on how to save this shower would be to beg my SIL (my brother's wife) to "offer" to help with the shower planning so she can keep an eye on things and prevent my SIL (and MIL)'s tackier tendencies.

What do you think?