Caught off guard by sister

Kfran84

Sorry this is freaking long.

Yesterday while registering, the topic of my baby shower came up and my sister pretty much unraveled right there in the middle of Target when I told her I had been offered, and had accepted, a shower hosted by a close friend of ours in Tulsa-- where I live.

As it turns out, she and my mom had been planning, but did not bother to tell me about, a shower they were planning in OKC (1.5 hours away). She was very hurt and asked why I didn't assume that she and my mom would do something for me. (???) OKC is not my hometown, so I'm not really sure why a shower is being planned there except that my sister lives there and my mom visits there a lot. I do have several friends in OKC, but they would make the drive to Tulsa for my shower, as I have for many of them.

A couple of questions for the BSB:

1) I think a shower hosted by the Mom to Be's immediate family is just one step away from hosting your own shower. I have never been to a wedding or baby shower hosted by the Mom to Be's mom or sister. Is this tacky or okay? 

2) I'm not sure I can fill up two showers. Which one do I decline? I originally thought the shower in Tulsa would be great because I live here and more of my Tulsa friends are more likely to come to a shower in town than one that's 100 miles away and my family members who really care would make the drive.

3) When I suggested that the shower hosted by my mom and sister could be the "family shower" she wigged out and was offended that I wanted to keep my Tulsa shower. Should I suggest that as a solution again? Again, I'm going to struggle to come up with guests to fill both.

I'm really at a loss for the right words. My mom and sister are both so sensitive, and I am really not good with emotional people. Any advice?