Babymoon?

MrsVanslyke

I've been thinking a lot about having a rather unconventional type of babymoon after our daughter is born. My husband and I are planning to live with his parents when baby arrives to ensure we have enough support. This is our second born child, our first born is now 4 years old. When he was born, I was constantly being dragged around with baby so everyone could meet him. It was very hard on my healing body, but not only that, I felt like I didn't get a chance to bond properly with my son. It seemed my mother was holding him all the time and he created a special bond with her that I didn't get. It deeply hurt me that my mother was the only person who could get him to stop crying just by simply holding him. So this time around, I've been thinking of just staying with my husband's parents because they understand boundaries. Even though we'd be living with them, they won't interfere with our bonding or parenting. I feel like I am going to be caught in a drama-fest when I tell my family my plan. I'm worried about it because I know that they will be upset that his parents will be around the baby but not them. I'm going to invite everyone to come meet baby when she is born in the hospital but after we leave there will be time where I will not be bringing baby on any type of outings. I'm not planning on turning away visitors, instead I am going to ask that they call first and we can arrange a visit within the home so I don't have to be lugged around. Does this seem reasonable? Our parents come from two different worlds, where his family is very supportive and understanding of what I want, my family would find it offensive. I was told bluntly everywhere I went when my son was born that I "could hold baby when ever I want and it's their turn when I bring him over." I don't want to lose the bond with my daughter like I did with my son. Does this plan seem reasonable? Is there a more gentle way of telling my family this plan? They aren't the type to go visiting and to me that's just too bad, I figure that if they want to see the baby they should respect my wishes and do it how I want it. I don't want to feel as though I'm just a human that birthed their grandchild. It's our baby and I need them to understand how difficult it is in the first few weeks, it's like they totally forget what its like to have a baby and assume I should take any help I can get. I don't want to be that mom who depends on everyone else to soothe or take care of her child or the one whose grateful for every second away from baby because she's the only person who can't soothe him. Uggh it frustrates me just thinking of it lol Anyways my question was suppose to be simple sorry I dragged on so long - Does all of this seem reasonable and what tips does anyone have on telling my family this plan in a more gentle way? I tend to be a little too straight forward and come off as a b*tch.