Vent/Need Advice (SID/SPD Related)

Princess_Lily

DS has SPD (Sensory Seeker), dx'd last August.

Now to begin with, he is my little social butterfly...he wears his heart on his sleeve and he is very emotionally in touch with people - he makes friends very easily.

On the other hand I notice he is very willful most adult authority figures, if they tell him what to do - and he doesn't want to do it, he will be sure to tell them.    For example, yesterday he was having circle time with his gym class.  They wanted him to participate in the circle, he didn't, and would scream/cry if the teacher were to try to place him back onto the circle.  Some days he is really good though, yesterday was an off day.

His OT said to just try to have them bring him back to the circle - saying that his willful behavior may be sensory related or it may be behavior related, its really unknown.  I wish I could just pinpoint this to make his time with both his teachers & him more productive.  I do see he is a little outside the baseline when it comes to organized class participation.  90% of the kids seem to have no problem listening and following directions of the teachers (outside of distractions) - and then my little guy yesterday was  not doing as he was told to and became the distraction. His class gym teachers know him and his "quirks" and are willing to work with him believing that he will eventually get there.  They still expect him to work hard, and push to build his physical endurance and strength. I just wish I could do more. 

 

Now, I know that in our state education system SPD could only take us so long  until a comorbidity dx is made.  I found this out because my friend (who has a 4.5yo) who's child has a child with SPD as well, has behavior problems too - but different forms than DS told me that SPD only goes so far in Florida and they are trying to find out his other comorbidity right now.   

Sometimes I think I have ADD. I always had difficult learning issue in school situations, however I was a passive/people-pleasing child, I learned how to blend into class situations, so although I may have looked present/attentitive - if you asked me to repeat back something, I was in another world.  However, much like DS - I made and kept friends easily.

My parents kept their head in the sand when it came to any learning difficulties I had, claiming that I just needed to "work harder & focus more." I heard that my whole life, and by pure luck I got through to college - my grades were always average/below average...but somehow I was able (without tutoring/special attention) to skirt through my early educational years.  I still find myself getting easily distracted by other things, but I found a good system that seems to work for me as an adult.

I just don't want DS to struggle in school the way I did if he does in fact have a form of ADD.  Is it normal as a parent to feel fear of what may be found?  I feel like it will be bittersweet, because I don't want my child to have struggles - but at the same time it may have him only benefit from further investigations.

I think I should bring this up our concerns to his pedi at his 4yo check-up, because I'm noticing his focus level in an organized class setting is different from the average child in his class (3.5-4.5yo), also combined with his willful behavior - it makes any type of structured class difficult for him and the teacher(s).

Sadly I am ashamed to say DH & I have our own coping mechanisms when dealing with DS and focus- difficult situations found outside of school (ie. pedi doctor appointments, restaurants, etc.), the IPAD.  While it seems to cause him to quiet down his mind and give us a little "break", it also makes him hyperfocus, and its very hard for him to pull away from it. 

If you got to the end, thank you for listening to this vent.  I just don't know what path I need to take here...