To call or not to call the hostess?

diamondduck13

First, I?ll introduce myself: I'm a lurker of the past few weeks who has enjoyed reading all these posts about when & how not to do a baby shower.  As the daughter of a woman who drove traditional etiquette into my head from the moment I could sit up and talk, it?s fun to read how others interpret these traditions and debate them in an online forum.   And now I?m interested in the two cents of you lovely ladies on my baby shower question of the day. 

In two weeks my MIL?s friends are hosting a baby shower for me in my husband?s home town (there?s no local female family other than my MIL, so the entire guest list is friends of my MIL.  Even the hostesses I?ve only seen twice before ? once at my wedding shower, the second at my wedding).  When I spoke to my MIL yesterday, I learned, from what she?s heard from her friends, it appears everyone received their invitation early this past week, whereas mine has not yet arrived.  So it appears my invitation was lost in the mail, misaddressed, or accidently forgotten.  Because, in my MIL?s words, obviously I?m invited.  This raises the following question for me:

This same group of women hosted a wedding shower for me almost two years ago.  As felt like the appropriate, gracious thing to do, as soon as I received that invite, I called the hostess who was the RSVP contact and raved about how cute I thought the invite was, how much I appreciated them doing this, and how much I was looking forward to the party.  I?d obviously like to do this again with the baby shower, but (1) I don?t know who the RSVP contact is without asking my MIL, which I can easily do; and (2) it feels weird to call and not mention the invitation ? to not mention it to me may be rude if the oversight might imply I didn?t like it.  But in this case to mention it would be to lie (because I haven?t seen it!), which I have never done well because I have never been comfortable lying, so I don?t consider that an option.  Telling her I haven?t received it also does not feel like an option because I can?t think of any way to say that without the underlying implication being I?m pointing out her mistake and/or I?m upset and/or that?s the reason I?m calling.  I want it clear I?m calling to express my appreciation, as I did for the wedding shower. 

What would you do?  Call to convey the appreciation as I would like to, without mentioning the invite (risking the implication being I didn?t like it or why wouldn?t I mention its cuteness?), or just not call and leave it all alone? 

Oh, and for those out there who can empathize because they share my social anxieties, appreciate  a few  good luck vibes with my nerves at being at a party of guesstimated 35 people only one of whom (my MIL) I?ve seen more than twice before! Good thing they?re really there for my MIL and not for me, I know from the wedding shower experience that takes some of the pressure off!  And for the record, I agree a party of that size of women who?ve only seen the MTB at most twice before, is ridiculous.  But my MIL loved that her friends wanted to do this and I felt the gracious thing to do was to accept with a smile and make her and her friends happy.   In my mind, it is really her party.  I?m just showing up to make that possible for her, because 60/70ish-year old women can?t have their fun of having a baby shower unless they can find a pregnant lady to show up to smile at the center of it