Hair help, self-esteem issues :(

laurelannie

So I'm not an adoptive mother, but I thought this would be an appropriate place to ask this question, because from what I understand, this is an issue that some adoptive mothers have to deal with. I hope that's okay.

I'm also not sure if I should do a warning about my ticker, I'm unfamiliar with the Adoption board rules, please forgive the ignorance.

I have a 6 year old niece that I watch 5 days a week after her half day kindergarten. She is mixed race, dad is black, mommy is white, and dad and his family are completely out of the picture (and out of state). I recently learned from talking with her that she has some very negative ideas about her hair. She is only 6 but already hates any styles with braids or twists because she feels they make her look "too black", she also just doesn't like her hair, no matter how it's done, she longs for her cousin's blonde straight hair. I am so sad to hear her talk about herself like this. I know her grandmother (who she lives with) is probably to blame for this outlook, but I'm at a loss as to how to help, except to keep the dialog open and help her see that all hair is beautiful. I'd like to beat some sense into grandma, but I know that won't do any good. Does anyone have any helpful tips or blogs that would help guide me in the discussion I can keep on having with her to make sure she knows how beautiful she is? I know she knows she looks different from the rest of her family, I just wish she knew how beautiful being unique is.

Ugh, and now I'm tearing up. I love this little girl so much and it makes me so sad to hear her say these things about herself.