anyone raising a "mean girl"

mommymegan831

DD is kind of wild, but overall a pretty good kid.  She listens most of the time, but she's not exactly a nice person, the best way I can describe it is a mean girl situation.  I'm very close with DD and she'll do anything for me, although I'm pretty good at making just about anything fun or scary (Hurry the bug is going to get you).  Because she prefers me to DH if he tries talking to her when she doesn't want to be bothered she goes "uh" to him.  The issue is with other kids.  I've noticed kids that are independent and outgoing she loves, but kids that are a little less social or for what ever reason don't seem as cool, DD is rude to.

For example, the other day at the park I over heard a little girl telling her mom how strong DD was because she was pushing DS on the swing and that she wanted to play with her.  The little girl came to me 1st and said hi.  I very nicely said hi to her, when she went to DD to say hi DD did her "uh" and walked away from the girl.  The girl and her mom started to play so when DD saw that they were having fun she came over, but as soon as the girl looked at her DD was rude again and walked away.

There are several kids that DD just can't be bothered with most of the time and does her "uh" response if they try to talk to her, although there are times she'll play with them.  She also acts like that to older people.  Then there seems to be another group that she'd never act like that and is just a blast to be around.

I try talking to her before we go out about being nice and talking to people, and when she does act nasty I talk to her to the side.  I feel like its really awkward for me to discipline her infront of people because it puts them in a strange position.  I don't want to tell her she's getting a time out or make her cry because she doesn't say hi to someone, because I'm sure that person would feel really awkward.

Anyone else deal with this?  Not necessarily behavior issues, just lack of social skills?  How do you deal?