The hope of becoming a mother by mother's day wasn't meant to be

IRR

Let me start by saying I am not shattered like I was the first time, just a little disappointed, and not meeting the baby makes it SO much easier to just walk away and move on.  So I don't have any real updates except for the fact that some unknown baby was born on Wednesday that could have been mine, but it is not.  I have no idea if the baby was born healthy or how big he was or even if he is a he although that is what we were told to start with, so I will assume it is a boy.  My agency was not able to get any answers on what went on this week, the EM has refused to speak to us by blocking her hospital room phone to all those that she didn't provide a PIN number to and at this point one can only assume she was a scam.  We did learn that she was working with another couple but broke off that relationship in January.  She told us she was working with another agency but never mentioned she was matched.  I am not sure if anything she told us was true except that she was and did have a baby on Wednesday.  

I am ready to move on and I even have DH considering an older child this time since we are not getting any younger.  We will try to talk to our social worker next week to see if there is anything different we need to do for an older child through foster care, but we will not become foster parents.  I signed up for ADOPTUSKIDS last night and this weekend we will just celebrate my cousins birthday today and my Mom tomorrow.  Appreciate all of the thoughts and prayers and I just hope this baby is well provided for now and in the future. Happy Mother's Day to all you are celebrating.