NBSR: Wedding Invite/ Gift question

Beckylouwho

So I think this is weird but maybe I'm wrong...

DH's cousin is getting married at the end of this month and I am unsure whether or not to send a gift. Here is the situation:

This wedding is a beach wedding and for a very long time we were told that cousins wouldn't be invited. Then suddenly 4 months ago, it was passed through WORD OF MOUTH that cousins were invited. We never got an invite (I'm not sure if IL's invite listed family or not) but we were told we were invited. 

Personally, I feel that everyone invited who is over the age of 18 should get their own invite (that's what I did for my wedding). Cousins (some of which are 40 years old) being told they could come by their mommies and daddies is weird to me....

If we had received an invite we still wouldn't be going (we have a wedding for my cousin who we are closer to that same weekend) but I would totally send a gift. Since we never actually got an invitation, should I send a gift? I'm leaning toward no right now but tell me if I am wrong and this situation is more common than I thought...

Also, I have never met this cousin and DH hasn't seem him in 4 years.