being mean - how do you handle it?

Mrs.RockyM

lately DD has been very mean, like just saying hurtful things to DH and I, and our parents.  I've told her in the past that she could hurt people with her words just as much as she could hurt people with her hands but she doesnt seem to get it. 

Well I'm having a really bad week and DD was mean to me in the car and I just totally lost it.  I told her that I loved her so much and it hurt my heart so badly that she's being so mean to me.  I asked her why and she stopped and thought about it for a minute and said she was sorry and she still loved me but she just didn't want to listen to me talk.  So I told her that it really upset me that she didn't want to listen to what I had to say or that she didn't find my thoughts to be important and how would she feel if I said that to her.  She cried and was very upset.  Eventually we both calmed down and told each other we loved each other and I was sorry I hurt her and she was sorry she hurt me, and then we moved onto some silly song on the radio. 

I'm not sure if I went too far or even if she understood where I was going with this. Just wondering how others handle situations like this, when their preKs are mean or not so nice.