U/S tomorrow (stupid PGAL brain)

xconf143usionx

So I'll be 5w3d tomorrow and I have my first official ultrasound at 7 am (I had one in the ER at 4w4d mostly to check for a ruptured ectopic and they found a gestational sac in my ute). Now, I ususally trust my gut for everything. It has a pretty good track record, but it's been pretty conflicted about what the results of this u/s will be. Some days I can just picture them telling me horrible news (PGAL brain probably has a huge influence on that), and others I can see them finding a hb that early. Even if it's just a little flicker. I'm fully aware that the most likely scenerio is that they'll find growth consistant with where I'm at in this pregnancy, but probably no hb yet. But today all I can think it that I'm 15 hours away from hearing the worst news of my life...again.

My betas have been pretty wonky:

4/8: 51

4/10: 60 (doubling time 204 hrs)

4/12: 130 (DT 43 hrs)

4/13: 239 (36 hrs)

4/15: 578 (31 hrs)

I still can't shake the feeling that the 51 still means something even though most doctors I've seen so far have told me that there's enough evidence now to believe it doesn't. I'm also scared with how fast they've started doubling. I know nothing about molar pregnancies but I know that fast doublingbetas can be a sign of one.

I just need all of you to (virtually) slap me in the face and snap me out of it. Has anyone ever had a similar situation, or know some fact that may help me figure all this out. This started out as an excited post and turned into a desperate debbie downer type rambling. And for that I apologise.