DD - not letting DH help

LilyB2521

I thought this was a phase, but it's not getting better or going away.  DH and I are very good about sharing duties around that house, and that includes DD.  But, most of the time, when he tries to do something for her, she says very sternly that she wants mommy to do it.  She's great with him when it's just the 2 of them, but when DH and I are both home, she wants me to do everything for her!  Now, I could see why she'd continue to do this if I did things for her when she asked, but I don't give in when she does this.

Example - DH always gets her ready in the morning, but I am around for about 20 minutes before I leave for work, so we were both home at this point.  She was done with breakfast and needed to get down from the table (we have a high table so she needs help).  DH went to help her, and she didn't want DH to do it, she wanted me to do it.  I didn't do it.  I popped my head out of the bathroom as I was getting ready for work, and, as I've said many times to her, said "please let daddy help you, mommy's getting ready for work".  She threw a fit at this because she wanted me to help her, not daddy.  Finally after 5 minutes she let DH get her down.  Then it was time to get her dressed...same thing, DH tries to get her dressed, she wants me to do it.  Again, I don't, I tell her I'd like daddy's help, as I'm getting ready to leave for work.

The other day we got home and it was about who helped unbutton her coat.  Or get her buckled into her car seat.  Or tie her shoes.  Or help wash her hair during a bath, brush her teeth, etc....you get the point.

What I don't understand is, when she does this, she's not getting her way.  DH and I have talked about it, and when she does this when he's trying to help, we make it a point to end it with him helping.  I don't get it, and it's getting old.  I don't know what to do!  Advice???