inlaw help

Emeraldeyed315

I posted this in gpm...but I think its pretty quiet there on the weekends so I hope its okay I post this here too. I'm really stressing out. 

I have a very strained and not good relationship with my ILs. Fortunately, they live a thousand miles away. Ive been with DH about 8 years, and they have said from day 1 they do not like me. They treat myself and DH awful. We had the boundaries talk a few years ago, which helped things a bit. Its tough because DH is an only child.

Now that we are expecting they are pretending like everything is okay. They are suddenly popping up out of the woodwork with texts and emails when we normally have a very limited relationship. Hid dad recently emailed us saying he was "coming to visit", and told us to pick 1 of two weekends he selected. Neither works, we have work functions. So DH wrote that back. He responded saying he shouldn't need to ask to visit, he should just tell us when he is visiting and we cancel plans/work around him. He then listed 2 more weekends in May, which also do not work. We have a retreat one weekend and a friends surprise party out of town another.

 Anyone else, I would email WHY we are busy and offer some solutions. Given our awful relationship, I do not want to find a solution and it makes me feel equally as bad as if they came for a visit. I do not want them to visit until the shower in June/July or when the baby comes. I truly hate them. Ive never been so angry about two people in my life. They make me feel stressed, unhappy and put a strain on our marriage. 

Are DH and I awful if we respond and just say those weekends do not work for us and they will need to wait for an invitation from us to visit when we know we are free? Anyone else I would never do this to...but with the baby coming DH wants to set up clear boundaries...and I do too, but I feel super guilty because this is not who I normally am.

WWYD?