Freaking out about the exit strategy - sorry long whine

Snarling Fox

Hi ladies - I know I haven't posted much lately - been quite the lurker though.

My little stowaway is measuring about 2 weeks behind so OB is not going to let me go over my due date. I guess it seems like it took so long to get comfortable acknowledging that I was pregnant, that I didn't give labor and delivery much thought. I know it's supposed to be a natural process... and women have been doing it for years... blah blah

Probably doesn't help that I have huge fears irrational fears about hospitals (never had to be in one for myself). Getting through both IVF processes were a huge challenge. Imagine someone with a huge fear of flying - that's me except with doctors, needles, medicine, and hospitals. The last 3 weeks, I've had to go into the hospital for NST (non stress test) to monitor the baby - and my blood pressure was through the roof and it's normally really good when I'm in my regular OBs little office.

Please tell me I'm not the only one freaked out about this last step. OB says if I don't go into labor on my own this week, then next Monday - we're talking induction by my due date of Wednesday March 6. I made it to the car and cried all the way home. Suddenly I'm feeling so overwhelmed and scared. And then there's the guilt that I'm not excited about delivery and meeting the baby since I can't get past my fears.