Split between 2 homes

michelleann2804

Posted on June 2012 mommy board before I thought to post here.  My daughter will be 8 months old Friday.

My daughter's father and I are, unfortunately, not together anymore.  I returned to work when she was 12 weeks old and she's been going to daycare during the week and spending every other weekend with her Dad.  His mother just retired and moved here a couple of weeks ago and has volunteered to keep McKinsey 2 days out of the week (Thursday/Friday). This would be an ideal arrangement except she lives 40 minutes away from me so my daughter would have to stay with her grandmother from Wednesday nights and I would pick her up on Friday nights after work.  Her father lives with his mother so on his weekends McKinsey will be there from Wednesday night to Sunday night.

My concern is that my daughter would actually be spending more time with her grandmother than she would with me.  I'm afraid the line between Grandma and Mommy might get blurred.  Additionally, I'm concerned about the stability of the situation...it would seem that McKinsey doesn't really have a home because her time would be divided pretty close to half and half between 2 places.  My family thinks my daughter is really too young for it to have that kind of lasting effects on her and they all agree if his mother is offering me a break both financially (because I won't have to pay full price for daycare) and time then I should take it.

I havent even mentioned the part about missing my baby while she's gone that long.  I've never been away from her longer than her weekends with her dad...and don't even get me started on how I don't think it's fair that he made the decision not to be a full time part of her life and now he's trying to "back door" time with her by having his mother take care of her. 

Anyone have opinions on splitting a baby between 2 homes and the possible effects it might have on my daughter?