Will I ever feel happy & excited?

Julie21613

I really want to feel happy & excited about this pregnancy.  I kept telling my self...when my first beta comes back stronger then previous pregnancies (that ended in m/c) I'll feel better....It did and I did, for about 30 seconds.  Same with 2nd & 3rd betas.  Then I said I would be happy once I had my first u /s and everything was "normal".  (last pregnancy heard h/b every week for 4 weeks but always measured about a week behind). Doctor said everything looked great.  I of course questioned the fact that I was measuring 6 weeks 1 day instead of 6 weeks 3 days.  I know the machines are +/- 3 days but that hasn't eased my fear.  I am having symptoms this time around.  Never had any with previous.   So in my head I know everything looks positive.  In my head I know it feels better to be happy then constantly terrified.  I know a lot of things in my head..but my emotions take over.  I just can't seem to let go and start feeling happy.  I feel so bad for MH.  He is excited but every time he starts to talk about it I always say "IF" not "when".  Then I see the hurt in his eyes.  Is it time that I see a therapist?  Or do I wait until my next u/s (3/4) and hope that I will believe it is going to happen then?  Thank you if you made it this far.  I don't mean to sound whiny, but I also know you understand where I'm coming from.