Best way to handle this situation?

srheflin91

My mother and I have never gotten along very well. Though I love her, as she is my mother, I do not like her nor her lifestyle/behavior. I've no problems with her seeing LO after birth, of course. It IS her grandchild, and I think regardless of my feelings it would be a bit mean to not allow her to visit at least once while we are in the hospital.

However, she is very immature, and has never been responsible. I mean this in that she spends far too much time and money on alcohol, and marijuana, then asks me for money to pay her bills(of course I have none at present to give!) My grandparents raised me as she could not and did not want to at the time. This is why we have a strained relationship. 

Now that I've explained that, the real problem that I do not know how to handle is this: She tells me it is her "given right as my mother" to be there during the birth of LO, and I really have no say in her being in the room, though we have already explained to family that I do not want anyone but DH in the room while I give birth.

We've told family they are more than welcome to call, and if me and LO are awake, they can visit. This included my mother and her husband. She still tells me this is unfair of me, and that she should not have to wait at home or in a waiting room because it is "her right" to be in there, AND to hold LO first NOT me or DH.

 

Ladies, I really want to avoid being too cold about this, but I really am not comfortable with anyone but DH being there with me. How can I tell her to back off without being a total *** about it?