ILs Vent (long)

MBfromBMC

(I am sure that some of the IFVs remember a little about my ILs because they are awful and I have posted about them before!)

A little back info, DH is the oldest of seven kids - three from his mom and dad, three from his mom and stepdad (and he grew up with these kids), then one from his dad and another woman (grew up in FL). His mom is a severe alcoholic and has been in the hospital 4-5 times in the past six months for violent illness and liver problems. Stepdad is an idiot who does nothing about the situation with mom and makes weird comments about me and DH under his breath at family gatherings, particularly about me being elitist, rich and fat (I may be fat, but certainly not rich or elitist - my dad is an auto mechanic and I'm a teacher for heaven's sake...). DH's dad just disappeared one day (moved to FL) when DH was in 1st grade and was not seen again until DH was 18. Since then, he has been bouncing from one job to the next, most of the time unemployed for his own stupid reasons, never paid child support for any of the kids and chooses to be homeless an unemployed rather than have his wages garnished. When he returned here to PA, he did the same thing to his kid in FL that he did to DH and siblings - disappeared. Last year, FIL even checked himself into a mental hospital and we had to come pick him up just so that he could live with us for a few horrific weeks. (The mental hospital kicked him out after minimum stay because he's not crazy, just stupid.) They all make me insane. Last year, stepdad even called and threatened to sue us (no basis, obviously and the case would have gone nowhere) unless we gave him $10,000 so they wouldn't lose their house. Real winners, right?

Anyway, yesterday was DH's birthday and he got a call from his dad (barf) and a call from his dad's mom, his nana. What an f-ing b-tch, seriously. I have had issues with her before when she called my cousin and yelled at her about the bridal shower a few years ago. This woman had NOTHING to do with DH while his dad was in FL and now makes excuses for him. DH and I have been together since we were 16 and I met her for the first time when we were 24. Not exactly a devoted grandmother.

She called to make sure that we would not exclude DH's dad from our son's life. She gave another longwinded list of excuses about how his dad is depressed (so is half of my family) and how he is not responsible for any of the things he did in the past. She feels like we don't treat him fairly and that he is not as much a part of the family as my relatives. And she wants to make sure we include FIL's other daughter in FL. Huh? We have met her ONE TIME when she was 8 years-old (now she's heading off to college) and I honestly couldn't pick her out of a lineup. I don't even know her last name.

Where does she get off calling DH on his birthday just to try to make him feel guilty about his deadbeat dad?? Neither one of us ever said that he couldn't visit the baby, but who is she kidding that he should be on the same standing as my mom and dad? WTH? My mom and dad have been there through absolutely everything. My mom helped us financially with our IVF and my dad is currently ripping out rugs, refinishing floors and renovating four rooms in our house for this baby and he thinks he is the same thing? I just think it is so sh-tty to put DH in this position of feeling guilty and "making sure that his dad doesn't feel excluded." Who says that to their grandkid? I seriously wish he would just disappear again, but maybe further away than FL this time, like maybe the moon...

Oh, and DH's mom and stepdad didn't call at all. Her oldest child's birthday - you would think they could remember that date.

:::vent over:::