Relationship with baby daddy *LONG*

mimimimimiiii

So a month ago baby daddy broke up with me. We had agreed on meeting up yesterday (on 25th) for our Christmas dinner. Before that, we haven't seen each other for 2 weeks. Ever since we broke up, I was so depressed and cried everyday, I went to church everyday and pray to the God, hopefully he could guide me to the right direction.

 On that day, he got me a necklace for my xmas gift and put it on for me as well. He went for a move in the afternoon, walked around before dinner. We hung out like nothing happened, he as holding my hand and me the most of the time and he still cares about me so much. But deep inside me I knew after the night I will back to the reality again.

We were having a good time, so happy and treasure every moment. After dinner he came over to my place and stay over with me for the night, I started to cry constantly, I missed him so much, haven't seen him for so long and even talk to him or text him. I can't help myself and I tried to talk things out with him. I wanted him to be with me and the baby in the future so bad, I want us together, I love him so much.   

He was starting to cry and hold me so tight, he told me he loves me, and I really can feel it!! We both we crying together. But he told him it's not the right time yet, he wants to focus on his full time and part time job and maybe sign up for school again, so he has no time for me and told me not to rush things take it step by step. He wants to go with the flow, let fate decide it for us.

I feel like I can't do anything to change him, but we are really in love with each other. Then, the baby was moving by that time, he could feel it as well. He was so happy and said it's amazing, we were even talked about baby's name and stuff.

This morning he is gone for work, he kissed me and said goodbye. I can't stop crying. I feel so lost and I don't know what to do to make him come back to me. I'm scared, I don't even know when can I see him again. I pray to God everyday, why he can't make us together I can't even stop crying, I miss him and love him so much. I really hope he could let us to decide the fate not the fate decide us. 

Thank you for reading it till the end and giving me advise.