How do you keep going?

Tigger & pooh

We lost our baby at 20 wks on nov 30th. I feel like I am leading a double life since then. There is the outer me going about my day getting ready for holidays doing everything that is expected of a mom, wife, SIL, daughter.... So on. Then there is the inner me and over the past few days , week. I feel like I am drowning. I want to sleep and not talk to anyone, I don't want to make dinner, wrap presents, talk to anyone. How do I get past this? Will the kids notice if Santa doesn't wrap presents? Will my friends really be insulted if I just can't talk about their pregnancies right now? I know I never met my child and I wasnt a late loss but ugh I am Still struggling with it. Please, I hope I am not alone in this or being totally irrational. Anyone have advice on how to get through the next couple weeks?