oh my gosh!! (a bit rant-y) and a big fat warning to any first timers...

SaraS83

Really...I mean REALLY!!!

You can literally find almost ANYTHING on youtube!  I am a stm, a medical assistant, and a nursing student.  I have seen pictures of A LOT of wierd stuff, videos of some graphic stuff, and read damn near everything I can get my hands on about all things medicine/medical.  Here lately, it all seems to circle back to pregnancy and child birth even though I've been through this process before.

Out of the clear blue sky one day, I remembered that one of my cardio teachers pulled up an open heart surgery on youtube....I thought to my self....if there are open heart surgeries on youtube...why not child birth???

So, just like a typical leo/cat, my curiosity got the better of me.  I have never been witness to a baby coming out of anyone's vagina, even my own.  I was unconscious during most of my labor and delivery.  I don't remember much other than it hurt a lot even when I was passing back out...so that's right...I had to go and look...

I just watched a bunch of random women giving birth on you tube.  I had NO IDEA what the hell was happening down there.  I'm still wigged out by it and creeped out and grossed out and OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I can never ever un-see that...ever.  I am now more terrified of having my second child than I ever was of having my FIRST!...and I've done this before!!!  I have seen a lot of stuff in my career...open gaping wounds, blood, vomit, sometimes all three at the same time....but I was SO NOT prepared for that...

The pictures they have in the medical books and even the ftm books (What to expect when you're expecting and the like)...yeh...that is the PG version...I just had no idea how very well sugar coated it was. 

ok...i feel a little better...but damn I'm sorry...I'm sorry for the cursing, I'm sorry for the brutal honesty, I'm sorry for the ftm's that read this and get scared.

I am freaking out over here...again I'm sorry.